the shit bits

Hi gang! Im back with an all new exciting edition featuring plenty of shit, and poo humor. Ive been slack with the blog thing but for obvious reason, the only interesting thing Ive got to say is about Kevins shit. And there is plenty of it, trust me. I spose ill tell you about the most recent deposit. A mere 15 minutes ago I was in the shower, Kevins most beloved pongo dish that he favors shitting in if he cant get to the treadmill. He shits in the shower most days and I usually pretend I havent seen it until Jasmine cleans it. Im sure she does the same to me. Anyways, I had just cleaned a chalky egg surprise and decided to shower not noticing another egg awaits me in the plug hole. It didnt bother me at first but after a while its hard to ignore. I wasnt going to jump out and grab something to poke it down or scoop it out so I thought maybe I could use my big toe. Fucking bad move. I figured I could just wash my toe afterwards and it would be a done deal. No more showering over a cat shit and one clean big toe. So, I gave it a poke with the toe and because it had hot water running over it, the consistency was more like a fucking melted ferrero rocher and I began to dry reach instantly. Bad times. The shit stayed still and my one big toe feels like it will never get clean. I swear the toe has nerve endings or taste buds or something because Im walking around treating it like a red headed step child, like I dont want to be near it.

I just got back from a long weekend of recording with Smurfinger. We did it at the south Muckleford hall. Its a pretty awesome place, an old school from 1850s to 1930s and has pictures of dudes that whent to the school and died in the great war. I struggled to find the greatness in the war but fond the stories in the old roll call book really interesting. It was the stories of the guys in the photos, most born around Muckleford and going to school there untill they enlisted in the army at mostly around age 19 and died aged 22. It said where they fought and got shot. And other patriotic jargon about serving the empire. Weird really. 

The recording is shaping up well so keep your eyes on the myspace for the new tunes.

We stayed out there for 4 days, sleeping in the hall and eating the same pot of vegan stew that Tom cooked up. The problem with being out of town is the toilets. The flusher wasnt working and both the shitters had unflushed shit in them. After a big spliff and a stomach full of stew, I needed to go do number two. Not to keen on shitting on other peoples shit I had no choice but to do it bush style. Which was right next to the cricket oval. I dont know why Im telling you this because its rather personal and disgusting. But it was awkward, and thats why Im telling you. Its one thing to piss on a tree but if you have ever tried to take a dump, while stoned, in the dark, in the middle of nowhere and hearing horses stomp and nay or whatever fucking noise they make. Its scary. Especially when you have a turd on deck that would out weigh a bag of oranges and squatting it out, trying not to shit on your feet.

Things that are shitting me as of late: (no pun intended)

Squatting in the bush

Racist australian news

Rove McManus

Footballers that make the news headlines over 700 dead in Chile 

So you think you can dance. Id like to see those guys in a knife fight with My kitchen rules.

Im sure alot more things shit me but my dinner is ready.

Cock, muff, bumhole.