It`s wet as

First of all, the Latin festival.

Saturday was shaping up to be a good one. Latin festival on Johnston St. was on. Time to eat some delicious food and get our drink on with some amigos above the T-shirt takeaway. Its was all good. The food was fucking bueno. A bit later in the day it started to rain, which wasnt that bad because it was still kind of hot, and it didnt really matter if you got a little wet.
Afterwards Jasmine and I thought we would go to a party not far from home. We got a taxi home, and I was up for a bit of small talk with the driver. The problem was, I have this unintentional habit of trying to get on the same level as who I'm talking to. For example; if I talk to a truck driver I'm all "g`day mate, hows the fucking weather for ya? alright if your a fucking duck!" and if I go to the chemist or something I'm a bit "oh, excuse me miss, could I trouble you for some of your most delightful haemorrhoid cream?" and my tone of voice changes dramatically. So in a taxi I tend to change my accent to the drivers and hopefully make them feel a bit more comfortable for a conversation. It kind of worked and we just talked about the best Indian restaurants in Melbourne "I lllike spize vood" sort of thing. Infact I didnt even realise until we jumped out and said "why where you talking like a fuckhead to that guy?"

So we grabbed the bikes and umbrellas and headed for the bottle shop. By this stage it was fucking pissing down and the streets where almost flooding. But because the party and the bottle shop wasnt so far, we thought the bikes and brollies would suffice. And the surely did not. By the time we got to the bottle shop, our clothes looked a little wet. We missed the closing time by about 2 minutes and the rain just got worse and worse. We tried to ride up and down Sydney Rd, to find alcohol but everywhere was shut. By this stage it was established we where wet and should go home. And it was in the way home, after Jasmine screaming at me for riding off to many times, she misjudged the gutter and fell straight in a huge puddle on the road as a car was coming. Its dark, wet and Jasmines ass over in a puddle of water with a car coming towards her. So I jumped in with my shoes on and ripped her out. The water was up to mid shin level and the car just slowed down and went around. We where absolutely fucking drenched and went strait home. I saw the funny side to it all and had a laugh, to which Jasmine responded by punching me in the ribs.

Thing that are shitting me as of late:
frustration
wet shoes
Christmas, already
when Jasmine says she has keys, but doesn't and we get locked out of the house
university students who feel the need to give their moral 2 cents on everything
people who jump the cue at the supermarket
the taste and thought of custard
war crimes
religion
I wasnt sure if I should laugh or cry when I saw this. Its a little weird.


Keep you burritos out of those burros.